May 19th, 2009

Good evening. This afternoon I called Dr. Gelety to get the results because we couldn't wait anymore. The HCG level went from 30 on Thursday to 29.5 on Monday. The level should have tripled at a minimum. Technically we are still pregnant by the numbers, but it will not carry sine it is dropping instead of increasing. I am stopping all injections immediately so that no "procedures" need to be done in order to remove a lasting embryo. I can't help but be frustrated with the doc office since after calling concerned about spotting every day last week, his answer a week later was "Oh they should have told you to double your injections to prevent miscarriage". Unfortunately we were not told that, and low and behold the inevitable happened. What makes the situation more tough is being on the other side of the world from Tyler. I would rather have been apart the day of our wedding than today of all days. Now big decisions....surgery? adopt? try again? switch docs? So much to consider....my body, our finances, lost trust in Dr. G......Please pray for my precious husband who's voice was trembling through the night, since he had to call in the night from IRAQ to get the results, and wishing he could be here to provide for me and support us. He is an amazing man of God who was thrilled to be a future dad..one day! My heart not only breaks for what could have been a baby Johnson, but for my precious Ty. I am more than thankful for our sovereign God and faith, I could not imagine IVF without a passionate intimacy Tyler and I have together with our Lord!