Background
Thursday, June 25, 2009
June 25th, 2009
Today was another appointment with Dr. G. The US went great, with poor Al waiting in the front room. Then the blood draw...for the first time in 2 years it took 3 poke..yikes! The worst part was stabbing around saying the little vein keeps moving around and them trying to chase it..scary! They wrote out a calendar that I will continue 20 ccs of Lupron until my period, then decrease to 10ccs. At that point I start 4 vials of injections twice a day. They think the planning is perfect and I will give myself only one injection on the cruise before I am home and need to get on a regular routine. Sounds like perfect timing to me! The call with results later this afternoon said the blood work was great and that we were right on track! I hope we don't bubble over with joyful anticipation before we "really" begin the process. Love yall!
Monday, June 22, 2009
I have become an old pro at the injections and even have my little summer visitor Alli around to help. The only little draw back lately is all the prescription vitamins and supplements at once, making my tummy a little upset every once in a while. If that is my only draw back I have nothing to complain about! We are beyond excited and it builds every day. We are constantly praying for our little miracle!
Friday, June 19, 2009
July 19th, 2009
Hola Amigos!
My first 2 injections went off with out a hitch. I forgot all about them until I opened the syringe and the memories all came flooding back. My tummy now has 2 tiny pricks in it, and one day soon will have a whole little clock of ticks around my belly button again. We anticipation and excitement builds with each little poke and prod I think. Now the great debate on acupuncture... we are trying to decide if we should start that all over again as well. Have a blessed weekend knowing God is Great!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
June 18th, 2009
Good afternoon! I saw the doc again today and had yet another ultrasound and blood work. Then I went to the pharmacy to pick up most of my meds. The adorable pharmacist tried every way possible to see if insurance would cover the other meds, but to no avail, so again I ordered them off the Internet. Who knew little vials could be so expensive! I spilled out all my supplies on the living room floor, I attached a pic, because once again I was overwhelmed. One the syringes number in the hundreds it gets a tiny bit frightening! When I hold our precious goose for the first time, though the injections will be the last thing on my mind. The office called this afternoon and my progesterone had gone up, so starting today I take 20ml of Lupron into my tummy. Thankfully we start with the tiny needles and work up. We are thrilled and very hopeful, we hope everyone surrounding us is as well! Love you guys!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
June 17th,2009
Howdy!
After the craziness of yesterday I called Dr. Gelety's office to make sure I was 100% sure what they were talking about. Yes, as guessed they were referring to Lupron that I give myself in preparation for another round of IVF. Therefore, I called Wilmot RX and again ordered Lupron, 160 syringes and needles, progesterone oil vials and HCG injections. I am excited to see what the doc says again tomorrow and pick of all my meds at the pharmacy as well. You know we are excited when I get emails form Ty int he middle of the night wanting the nursery to look like a beach house, open and airy, kind of like a Hollister store...gotta love that kid! Lets get this party started!!!!!!!!
After the craziness of yesterday I called Dr. Gelety's office to make sure I was 100% sure what they were talking about. Yes, as guessed they were referring to Lupron that I give myself in preparation for another round of IVF. Therefore, I called Wilmot RX and again ordered Lupron, 160 syringes and needles, progesterone oil vials and HCG injections. I am excited to see what the doc says again tomorrow and pick of all my meds at the pharmacy as well. You know we are excited when I get emails form Ty int he middle of the night wanting the nursery to look like a beach house, open and airy, kind of like a Hollister store...gotta love that kid! Lets get this party started!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
June 16, 2009
Howdy!
I went to the doc today and it was quite bizarre. I went in and they asked if I was there for my DepotLupron shot. I said, not that my hubby had decided on another round of IVF while we were in peak condition to conceive. At that point the nurse remembered and apologized. Then, we did an ultrasound. Dr. G asked if I thought I had ovulated, since technically it is day 28. I explained I wasn't sure. He saw what he thought was one tiny follicle, but that by no means would I start my period any time soon. The surgery kind of through my cycle off. They then took blood, and called this afternoon to say my Progesterone was at 3.2 and to not take my Lupron. What Lupron? He still has not prescribed my Lupron for IVF, or the DepotLupron if we are to wait. He said he wants to better track what is happening, and needs to see me every few days. Therefore, I am going on Thursday and at that point I hope we clear up many of my questions. Love you guys!
I went to the doc today and it was quite bizarre. I went in and they asked if I was there for my DepotLupron shot. I said, not that my hubby had decided on another round of IVF while we were in peak condition to conceive. At that point the nurse remembered and apologized. Then, we did an ultrasound. Dr. G asked if I thought I had ovulated, since technically it is day 28. I explained I wasn't sure. He saw what he thought was one tiny follicle, but that by no means would I start my period any time soon. The surgery kind of through my cycle off. They then took blood, and called this afternoon to say my Progesterone was at 3.2 and to not take my Lupron. What Lupron? He still has not prescribed my Lupron for IVF, or the DepotLupron if we are to wait. He said he wants to better track what is happening, and needs to see me every few days. Therefore, I am going on Thursday and at that point I hope we clear up many of my questions. Love you guys!
Monday, June 15, 2009
June 15th, 2009
Howdy!
Today is the big decision day..well just the put the plan into action day I guess. I see Dr. G tomorrow morning and at that time we think we will have a better idea of our next few months schedule. We(The Captain and I..see pic above!) love you all and miss you like crazy!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June 10th, 2009
Howdy!
First off thank you to everyone for the emails, calls, prayers and encouragement. When a sister calls out in need you all quickly step up. What a blessing each of you have been in our lives.
Tyler and I spent the last day in prayer and discussion as a couple. This morning I woke up to Dr.G's office calling. The first few calls I did not answer, trying to get my head of straight. Finally, I spoke with the office manager who asked which pharmacy I would like my injections delivered too. I told her basically we are going to wait until we have a solid decision and spent more time in prayer before starting any meds at all. They put my order on hold. I asked if we could talk to DR. G ASAP. Sweet guy called me on his lunch break. I explained that Ty and I discussed the options and lean toward starting another round of IVF and wanted to know more specifics. He said he thought we were buying time by going on Lupron until Ty got back from Iraq to try naturally, and that we did not want to try IVF again because of the expense. I explained we are comfortable moving in any direction together or apart, but thought we needed to be on Lupron to increase the chances of IVF working. He said not at all. My chances after the surgeries are just as good since i was all "cleaned out". I am still meeting with him next week to discuss the 2 options and 1 million questions.
1. Start IVF as soon as we can.(After I am healed and physically able to.)
2. Start Lupron and wait until Tyler is home and we try naturally(even with a 10% shot it could happen!).
I am awed at what an incredible husband I have. He makes incredible sacrifices for our country and family, greater than most men are ever called to. Incredibly, with each struggle and trial we draw closer to each other and closer to our God...what an amazing life we are blessed with. We love you all and think of and pray from you often.
First off thank you to everyone for the emails, calls, prayers and encouragement. When a sister calls out in need you all quickly step up. What a blessing each of you have been in our lives.
Tyler and I spent the last day in prayer and discussion as a couple. This morning I woke up to Dr.G's office calling. The first few calls I did not answer, trying to get my head of straight. Finally, I spoke with the office manager who asked which pharmacy I would like my injections delivered too. I told her basically we are going to wait until we have a solid decision and spent more time in prayer before starting any meds at all. They put my order on hold. I asked if we could talk to DR. G ASAP. Sweet guy called me on his lunch break. I explained that Ty and I discussed the options and lean toward starting another round of IVF and wanted to know more specifics. He said he thought we were buying time by going on Lupron until Ty got back from Iraq to try naturally, and that we did not want to try IVF again because of the expense. I explained we are comfortable moving in any direction together or apart, but thought we needed to be on Lupron to increase the chances of IVF working. He said not at all. My chances after the surgeries are just as good since i was all "cleaned out". I am still meeting with him next week to discuss the 2 options and 1 million questions.
1. Start IVF as soon as we can.(After I am healed and physically able to.)
2. Start Lupron and wait until Tyler is home and we try naturally(even with a 10% shot it could happen!).
I am awed at what an incredible husband I have. He makes incredible sacrifices for our country and family, greater than most men are ever called to. Incredibly, with each struggle and trial we draw closer to each other and closer to our God...what an amazing life we are blessed with. We love you all and think of and pray from you often.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
June 9th, 2009
Howdy!
Today was the long awaited Post-Op. I literally got off the plane and drove straight to the doc's office. They took my blood pressure first, the poor nurse was new to the office and panicked a little, since it was so low as usual. Then Dr. Gelety came to review my healing process. He looked at my incisions and thought they would be more healed by now, but that they were slowly but surely getting better. He shared with e probably 50 pictures they had taken, he started with saying my liver was one of the healthiest ever, then moved to shape size and tilt of uterus was great. Then my ovaries basically looked like zebra print. He said they should be bright white to be healthy. Mine were far from that! He showed me the adhesion they removed. Then he multiple cysts, which were about the same size at the ovaries quite scary for me. He explained there are several stages of endometriosis ranging from stage 1 where the endometriosis becomes visible and fiber like, all the way to stage 4 where is covers the area, creates cysts larger than 2 cm in diameter and invading the ovaries. Much to my surprise he said I was on the top end of stage 4. He said he lanced, removed and lasered everything in sight, but that it could quickly return and there is always some hiding.
Then what we have all been waiting for..what are we doing next? We discussed many options:
1. Take LupronDepot injections for 3 months or so, to send my body into premenopause, stopping all periods, to dry up any additional endometriosis. Then when Tyles returns I could be healed up and we can try naturally, then start cloid and IUIs and IVF if needed. So basically start everything over in 3 months.
2. Take LupronDepot for 3 months and then do a round of IVF.
3. Start trying naturally now....hmmm no hubby in sight...
4. Start over now with Clomid and IUI, then another round of IVF.
5. Immediately do another round of IVF.
He thinks LupronDepot could help to clear up all the other endometriosis and make our chances better, but no guarantee it will do anything at all. Of course there are no methods guaranteed. We have multiple worries:
1. Waiting the 3 months and starting over, that means we will either be trying or even pregnant when Tyler gets out of the AF and we both change jobs...hello insurance?
2. Cost of IVF: another round is another what seems like million dollars.
3. Taking Lupron and it not helping at all.
Starting over with Clomid and IUI...we started there a year and half ago, scary to start they entire process possibly over all over again.
I understand Luron could help, so I agreed to 3 months, based on his advice, but then as I left I started thinking of the insurance, moving, new jobs, starting 1.5 years of life all over again. Tyler called immediately and I totally lost it crying in frustration. I am terrified of the financial burden of IVF, horrified of losing insurance while pg, scared of repeating a year and half of our lives. Tyler said to not be concerned about the money and we should do IVF again while we have the doc, means, and my body is cleared out(mostly). I wish he could be at the doc with me, when they are sharing all the scary news my head gets lost in emotion and I feel flustered answering what I think we shoudl due. Ty has the solid head in times like that. I had already told the Doc we would take Lupron and wait 3 months, even scheduled follow ups for injections. We are going to pray over night together and hope God reveals His plan since we are so torn. If anyone has any advice or even what you might do, we would love to know as well. Our email is tylerandnikki@cox.net.
From the time I was a child I would pray form my baby dolls to come alive and allow me to be their mother, and Tyler even had a baby doll he was the father of(and whoa it is worn out)..hello he is male! We were born to be parents, and have dreamed of the idea together since we were 17. People speak of marital troubles, this is a struggle we are holding each other through, but one where we are so hurt knowing we can not fulfill each others greatest desire and dream. We would love for any prayers you might offer up for our health, separation and desire to have children. We trust our God has a fabulous plan for our life as one and anxiously await His desires!
Love y'all!
Today was the long awaited Post-Op. I literally got off the plane and drove straight to the doc's office. They took my blood pressure first, the poor nurse was new to the office and panicked a little, since it was so low as usual. Then Dr. Gelety came to review my healing process. He looked at my incisions and thought they would be more healed by now, but that they were slowly but surely getting better. He shared with e probably 50 pictures they had taken, he started with saying my liver was one of the healthiest ever, then moved to shape size and tilt of uterus was great. Then my ovaries basically looked like zebra print. He said they should be bright white to be healthy. Mine were far from that! He showed me the adhesion they removed. Then he multiple cysts, which were about the same size at the ovaries quite scary for me. He explained there are several stages of endometriosis ranging from stage 1 where the endometriosis becomes visible and fiber like, all the way to stage 4 where is covers the area, creates cysts larger than 2 cm in diameter and invading the ovaries. Much to my surprise he said I was on the top end of stage 4. He said he lanced, removed and lasered everything in sight, but that it could quickly return and there is always some hiding.
Then what we have all been waiting for..what are we doing next? We discussed many options:
1. Take LupronDepot injections for 3 months or so, to send my body into premenopause, stopping all periods, to dry up any additional endometriosis. Then when Tyles returns I could be healed up and we can try naturally, then start cloid and IUIs and IVF if needed. So basically start everything over in 3 months.
2. Take LupronDepot for 3 months and then do a round of IVF.
3. Start trying naturally now....hmmm no hubby in sight...
4. Start over now with Clomid and IUI, then another round of IVF.
5. Immediately do another round of IVF.
He thinks LupronDepot could help to clear up all the other endometriosis and make our chances better, but no guarantee it will do anything at all. Of course there are no methods guaranteed. We have multiple worries:
1. Waiting the 3 months and starting over, that means we will either be trying or even pregnant when Tyler gets out of the AF and we both change jobs...hello insurance?
2. Cost of IVF: another round is another what seems like million dollars.
3. Taking Lupron and it not helping at all.
Starting over with Clomid and IUI...we started there a year and half ago, scary to start they entire process possibly over all over again.
I understand Luron could help, so I agreed to 3 months, based on his advice, but then as I left I started thinking of the insurance, moving, new jobs, starting 1.5 years of life all over again. Tyler called immediately and I totally lost it crying in frustration. I am terrified of the financial burden of IVF, horrified of losing insurance while pg, scared of repeating a year and half of our lives. Tyler said to not be concerned about the money and we should do IVF again while we have the doc, means, and my body is cleared out(mostly). I wish he could be at the doc with me, when they are sharing all the scary news my head gets lost in emotion and I feel flustered answering what I think we shoudl due. Ty has the solid head in times like that. I had already told the Doc we would take Lupron and wait 3 months, even scheduled follow ups for injections. We are going to pray over night together and hope God reveals His plan since we are so torn. If anyone has any advice or even what you might do, we would love to know as well. Our email is tylerandnikki@cox.net.
From the time I was a child I would pray form my baby dolls to come alive and allow me to be their mother, and Tyler even had a baby doll he was the father of(and whoa it is worn out)..hello he is male! We were born to be parents, and have dreamed of the idea together since we were 17. People speak of marital troubles, this is a struggle we are holding each other through, but one where we are so hurt knowing we can not fulfill each others greatest desire and dream. We would love for any prayers you might offer up for our health, separation and desire to have children. We trust our God has a fabulous plan for our life as one and anxiously await His desires!
Love y'all!
Monday, June 1, 2009
June 1st, 2009
Howdy Y'all!..being back in Texas allows me the opportunity to say it with an accent like that!
I apologize for not giving details of the procedures earlier, but have been quite busy...details to follow....
On Thursday morning Francine picks me and my hospital essentials up. We arrive at the hospital around 11:00 am and move to admissions. I fill out last minute info, am given my hospital bracelet, and so forth. We then move to the gyn surgery dept where I am weighed, blood pressure, sleep apnea test, and everything once again. When all is well I am taken by my "pre pre pre-op" nurse to my waiting room. I am given a gown and booties and go over all the procedure for the day. Francine looks stunned wen she leaves and realized she had no idea it was 3 procedures and when they use all the medical terms and adjectives the 3 procedures become a 5 minute speech of what will happen. I go to the bathroom and strip down for the gown. However, it is one size fits all so instead of tying ti I wrap up like a human taco. When I come out we laugh about this shield inner layer across the from, like a little foam bumper inside from my neck to knees. There are strange disk in specific areas that can be punched out and we wonder what they are for. I lie in bed and we small talk, then spend time praying together before hand. Next, my nurse comes to take me to the "pre-op area". They bring a wheel chair and I explain I am just fine, however she informs me the walk is like 1/3 of a mile across the entire hospital and my little booty would be hanging out of my gown if I wanted to walk. So I rode the wheel chair and waived to everyone as though I was on parade. In the new room I am met by my "pre pre-op nurse" who is 8 months pregnant. Much to our surprise she pops a disk out of my gown and sticks a tube into the hole. Within seconds my little shield puffs like a sumo wrestler. She says the pump warm air around me to regulate body temp..incredible! I also get a metallic surgical cap, to keep in the warmth. Once I have the puffed sumo outfit and the cap that looks like old fashioned metal popcorn bags over my head we laugh so hard we take pics. The nurse talks to me about what will happen..hen whispers she is not supposed to say..but Dr. G is the one who got her pregnant with the baby she is carrying....so a glimmer of home is sparked. We go over allergies and all, waiting for Dr. G and the anesthesiologist. I am warned of a breathing tube and catheter...I love how you find out the worst parts..wen there is no turning back! Finally the anesthesiologist arrives and runs the IV, he says because of the risk of organ infection he needs to run antibiotics. As always I warn of all my allergies just in case. He starts the meds, I start saying "My arm is broken", because of the immediate awkward pain and gasping for breath. Wow...we discovered yet another drug allergy. Next thing I know all sorts of drugs are running through my veins to fix the problem.
Dr. G arrives....and comes over to calm me down, holding my hand and fixing my hair...how I love this man one minute, and find myself beyond frustration the next. We move to the OR..how terrifying with the nurses, stadium looking lights, meds, instruments. I am transferred beds just like you see one TV. I am hooked to oxygen and explain once they try and put me out I go crazy and try to escape..I don't finish my sentence before I am out like a light.
As I start to come back to reality I am fighting they nurses and coughing realizing they are pulling my breathing tube out, and cough up blood. They had to leave it in longer than planned due to the allergy earlier, or I should have been out while that was done. The Post-op nurse ask either me or someone wound something abut a husband..I start sobbing like an infant.... saying "my husband isn't here he is in IRAQ"...partially the meds making me hysterical..partially the real life tragedy of surgery without a hubby. I ask for more pains meds 3 separate times, wow I never imagined the pain. Scary thought hit my mind...I checked in at 11:00 or so, and way under by 1:00...but it is dark out..the surgery and recovery took a VERY VERY long time. Eventually I am back to Nikki, the IVs come out, they show me the 4 incisions, put my clothes on and into what seems the worlds largest Volvo SUV..exactly they ARE small, but when you are in that pain the step seems like a mountain.
At home I get in bed, but can not sleep due to the pain, at some point reach for the meds, and knock them off..no way can i reach the ground EVER..so I scream for Francine to help me get them off the floor. The nausea of the pain meds and IV are too much to handle, she runs home to concoct a Jamaican remedy to prevent nausea. The ginger crushed tea worked like a charm. One side effect I was not prepared for was the potty problem after a catheter..yikes I might as well have assumed I had the worst EVER bladder infection for the next few days. We discuss what Dr. G told her. She saw pics and had a discussion with him post-op. He found an adhesion on the outside of an ovary. Multiple giant ovarian cyst that were lanced and he described at "poured out the color of chocolate from inside" due to age of the cyst and severity of endometriosis. He lasered massive amounts of endometriosis for the entire area. He told her the next round of IVF should be quick, so that once healed we can take advantage of the clear and prepared reproductive system. Good news to find solvable solutions to major problems.
The following day, completely against doctor wishes and orders, I actually forced myself to get going and got on a plane..I know I must be crazy and poor Tyler still thinks I made a sketchy decision(he thought I needed serious recovery time: of course my angel wants to protect and provide as always!). However, who could miss their sister-in-laws wedding if you can help it in any way. I can not deny the pain, and inability to move fast or bend, the incisions ave bled a fair amount and been covered to many times to count, but think I am healing well. For the doc to say some people ride in wheelchairs for the first week after the 3 procedures..i thought I was hot stuff walk to take a plane the following day! I have a post-op the morning that I fly back to Arizona and from there we will begin planning our next round of attack for Baby Johnson!!!
Several have asked what they could do...I know this sounds silly but, if anyone wanted to write Francine a thank you for the hours of love and compassion she has poured into our family, we would be blessed by the gesture as well. Her address is:
Francine Payne
10832 E Scenic Veranda
Vail, AZ 85641
Thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers and encouragement. On top of having the most incredible husband God could every design for me, we also have fabulous friends and family behind us! We wish one day to have the opportunity to bless you the way we have been.
I apologize for not giving details of the procedures earlier, but have been quite busy...details to follow....
On Thursday morning Francine picks me and my hospital essentials up. We arrive at the hospital around 11:00 am and move to admissions. I fill out last minute info, am given my hospital bracelet, and so forth. We then move to the gyn surgery dept where I am weighed, blood pressure, sleep apnea test, and everything once again. When all is well I am taken by my "pre pre pre-op" nurse to my waiting room. I am given a gown and booties and go over all the procedure for the day. Francine looks stunned wen she leaves and realized she had no idea it was 3 procedures and when they use all the medical terms and adjectives the 3 procedures become a 5 minute speech of what will happen. I go to the bathroom and strip down for the gown. However, it is one size fits all so instead of tying ti I wrap up like a human taco. When I come out we laugh about this shield inner layer across the from, like a little foam bumper inside from my neck to knees. There are strange disk in specific areas that can be punched out and we wonder what they are for. I lie in bed and we small talk, then spend time praying together before hand. Next, my nurse comes to take me to the "pre-op area". They bring a wheel chair and I explain I am just fine, however she informs me the walk is like 1/3 of a mile across the entire hospital and my little booty would be hanging out of my gown if I wanted to walk. So I rode the wheel chair and waived to everyone as though I was on parade. In the new room I am met by my "pre pre-op nurse" who is 8 months pregnant. Much to our surprise she pops a disk out of my gown and sticks a tube into the hole. Within seconds my little shield puffs like a sumo wrestler. She says the pump warm air around me to regulate body temp..incredible! I also get a metallic surgical cap, to keep in the warmth. Once I have the puffed sumo outfit and the cap that looks like old fashioned metal popcorn bags over my head we laugh so hard we take pics. The nurse talks to me about what will happen..hen whispers she is not supposed to say..but Dr. G is the one who got her pregnant with the baby she is carrying....so a glimmer of home is sparked. We go over allergies and all, waiting for Dr. G and the anesthesiologist. I am warned of a breathing tube and catheter...I love how you find out the worst parts..wen there is no turning back! Finally the anesthesiologist arrives and runs the IV, he says because of the risk of organ infection he needs to run antibiotics. As always I warn of all my allergies just in case. He starts the meds, I start saying "My arm is broken", because of the immediate awkward pain and gasping for breath. Wow...we discovered yet another drug allergy. Next thing I know all sorts of drugs are running through my veins to fix the problem.
Dr. G arrives....and comes over to calm me down, holding my hand and fixing my hair...how I love this man one minute, and find myself beyond frustration the next. We move to the OR..how terrifying with the nurses, stadium looking lights, meds, instruments. I am transferred beds just like you see one TV. I am hooked to oxygen and explain once they try and put me out I go crazy and try to escape..I don't finish my sentence before I am out like a light.
As I start to come back to reality I am fighting they nurses and coughing realizing they are pulling my breathing tube out, and cough up blood. They had to leave it in longer than planned due to the allergy earlier, or I should have been out while that was done. The Post-op nurse ask either me or someone wound something abut a husband..I start sobbing like an infant.... saying "my husband isn't here he is in IRAQ"...partially the meds making me hysterical..partially the real life tragedy of surgery without a hubby. I ask for more pains meds 3 separate times, wow I never imagined the pain. Scary thought hit my mind...I checked in at 11:00 or so, and way under by 1:00...but it is dark out..the surgery and recovery took a VERY VERY long time. Eventually I am back to Nikki, the IVs come out, they show me the 4 incisions, put my clothes on and into what seems the worlds largest Volvo SUV..exactly they ARE small, but when you are in that pain the step seems like a mountain.
At home I get in bed, but can not sleep due to the pain, at some point reach for the meds, and knock them off..no way can i reach the ground EVER..so I scream for Francine to help me get them off the floor. The nausea of the pain meds and IV are too much to handle, she runs home to concoct a Jamaican remedy to prevent nausea. The ginger crushed tea worked like a charm. One side effect I was not prepared for was the potty problem after a catheter..yikes I might as well have assumed I had the worst EVER bladder infection for the next few days. We discuss what Dr. G told her. She saw pics and had a discussion with him post-op. He found an adhesion on the outside of an ovary. Multiple giant ovarian cyst that were lanced and he described at "poured out the color of chocolate from inside" due to age of the cyst and severity of endometriosis. He lasered massive amounts of endometriosis for the entire area. He told her the next round of IVF should be quick, so that once healed we can take advantage of the clear and prepared reproductive system. Good news to find solvable solutions to major problems.
The following day, completely against doctor wishes and orders, I actually forced myself to get going and got on a plane..I know I must be crazy and poor Tyler still thinks I made a sketchy decision(he thought I needed serious recovery time: of course my angel wants to protect and provide as always!). However, who could miss their sister-in-laws wedding if you can help it in any way. I can not deny the pain, and inability to move fast or bend, the incisions ave bled a fair amount and been covered to many times to count, but think I am healing well. For the doc to say some people ride in wheelchairs for the first week after the 3 procedures..i thought I was hot stuff walk to take a plane the following day! I have a post-op the morning that I fly back to Arizona and from there we will begin planning our next round of attack for Baby Johnson!!!
Several have asked what they could do...I know this sounds silly but, if anyone wanted to write Francine a thank you for the hours of love and compassion she has poured into our family, we would be blessed by the gesture as well. Her address is:
Francine Payne
10832 E Scenic Veranda
Vail, AZ 85641
Thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers and encouragement. On top of having the most incredible husband God could every design for me, we also have fabulous friends and family behind us! We wish one day to have the opportunity to bless you the way we have been.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
May 27th, 2009
Who knew I would be gone from 6:00am until 8:00 pm the day before surgery? Too much to do..too little time. After teaching Vacation Bible School I was at the hospital for hours. Arranging a room, valet, questions, getting meds, allergy tests, urine and blood tests, a sleep apnea exam(for what?). On top of the regular life appointments and errands to get taken care of. I totally rocked the gym today, and we spoke about possibly entering a fitness competition, if my gym sponsored my entry fees that is. Hopefully the surgery will be successful and i can be back in the gym ASAP. Now I need to do laundry and pack for Texas because I will basically be passed out, until the plane flight. Praying for a safe and healthy surgery....as well as the struggle of major surgery without a hubby(the fear of not having him by my side, is greater than any physical fear of the procedure)...I fully trust Dr. G with my life....We have an amazing God who continually provides.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
May 26th, 2009
Howdy!
Wow how awesome our God is! Today I am in the middle of Vacation Bible School and an unknown AZ number keeps calling. Finally they leave a message..it is the Doc's office manager. Someone canceled, and if she can get an anesthesiologist and assistant, I have surgery on Thursday. She calls back and got the needed personnel! The world wind begins..I had a pre-op today, one with the anesthesiologist tomorrow and one at the hospital tomorrow, then picking up different meds at 2 places! The doc went over the 3, yeah count em 3 procedures, they will perform. I had to sign waiver after waiver about infections, puncturing organs, possible death. Wow what a terrifying thought, all these possibilities when you precious angel is on the other side of the planet. My dear friends are taking me again, bless their hearts! I asked about my flight less than 24 hours later and they were basically like ???, that is up to you. WE have seen people come back for their one week post-op hopping and skipping, and others brought in a wheel chair because they haven't walked yet. I am one tough cookie I thought......
Procedure #1
http://www.gynalternatives.com/hsc.htm
Procedure #2
http://www.advancedfertility.com/laparoscopy.htm
Procedure #3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilation_and_curettage
Keep Praying for my sanity and health, and to stopping hoping for the impossible of waking up from surgery with Ty beside me....
Wow how awesome our God is! Today I am in the middle of Vacation Bible School and an unknown AZ number keeps calling. Finally they leave a message..it is the Doc's office manager. Someone canceled, and if she can get an anesthesiologist and assistant, I have surgery on Thursday. She calls back and got the needed personnel! The world wind begins..I had a pre-op today, one with the anesthesiologist tomorrow and one at the hospital tomorrow, then picking up different meds at 2 places! The doc went over the 3, yeah count em 3 procedures, they will perform. I had to sign waiver after waiver about infections, puncturing organs, possible death. Wow what a terrifying thought, all these possibilities when you precious angel is on the other side of the planet. My dear friends are taking me again, bless their hearts! I asked about my flight less than 24 hours later and they were basically like ???, that is up to you. WE have seen people come back for their one week post-op hopping and skipping, and others brought in a wheel chair because they haven't walked yet. I am one tough cookie I thought......
Procedure #1
http://www.gynalternatives.com/hsc.htm
Procedure #2
http://www.advancedfertility.com/laparoscopy.htm
Procedure #3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilation_and_curettage
Keep Praying for my sanity and health, and to stopping hoping for the impossible of waking up from surgery with Ty beside me....
Monday, May 25, 2009
May 25th
We are praying we are able to schedule the surgery for ASAP.
http://www.advancedfertility.com/laparoscopy.htm
Plus, Ty has spoken with the commander about the possibility of emergency leave to be home for the surgery. I think a miscarriage and 3 surgeries with out a husband would be more than even super woman Nikki could handle. Hoping......
http://www.advancedfertility.com/laparoscopy.htm
Plus, Ty has spoken with the commander about the possibility of emergency leave to be home for the surgery. I think a miscarriage and 3 surgeries with out a husband would be more than even super woman Nikki could handle. Hoping......
Friday, May 22, 2009
May 22nd, 2009
Today after turning my classroom into Club Johnson on the last day of school...I will have to attach a video....
I met with Dr. G. Marta did the US and said things looked about what they expected. An US in the middle of MC cramps was one painful experience. They prescribed some strong pain meds for the next few days as precaution. Then I spoke with Dr. G about the next step. As I predicted, SURGERY! They want to open me up to see what could be going wrong and if they can surgically fix any "issue" they have not been able to diagnose. Since so far we are the 3% of undiagnosed infertility. Unfortunately it is a stay in an actual hospital type deal...so we are going to try and schedule something next week, however since we are on the hospital's schedule the office manager said the surgery might not be done until July. I explained I have a summer break from school, so if there are any cancellations my flexibility throws me into the #1 spot. Once I recover from surgery we will discover our next step....in this wild journey we have partaken upon....
Love ya!
I met with Dr. G. Marta did the US and said things looked about what they expected. An US in the middle of MC cramps was one painful experience. They prescribed some strong pain meds for the next few days as precaution. Then I spoke with Dr. G about the next step. As I predicted, SURGERY! They want to open me up to see what could be going wrong and if they can surgically fix any "issue" they have not been able to diagnose. Since so far we are the 3% of undiagnosed infertility. Unfortunately it is a stay in an actual hospital type deal...so we are going to try and schedule something next week, however since we are on the hospital's schedule the office manager said the surgery might not be done until July. I explained I have a summer break from school, so if there are any cancellations my flexibility throws me into the #1 spot. Once I recover from surgery we will discover our next step....in this wild journey we have partaken upon....
Love ya!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
May 20th, 2009
Whew..another rough day in Vail, but here is my game plan....Enjoy every moment of life God has blessed us with. Therefore, until we have out own children I am going to eat up every second I can with my "kiddos". We are praying for a blessing from God on our next move from here and look forward to Friday when we meet with Dr. G. Thank you each for your letters, emails, texts, comments, messages and prayers. I have had a hard time getting back to each of you, right now we are at a place when talking about it over and over again, just makes our heart hurt worse. We are grieving and soon enough will feel comfortable talking about the situation and what we are going to do as a result. I hope you understand our heartache and wishes. Love ya!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
May 19th, 2009
Good evening. This afternoon I called Dr. Gelety to get the results because we couldn't wait anymore. The HCG level went from 30 on Thursday to 29.5 on Monday. The level should have tripled at a minimum. Technically we are still pregnant by the numbers, but it will not carry sine it is dropping instead of increasing. I am stopping all injections immediately so that no "procedures" need to be done in order to remove a lasting embryo. I can't help but be frustrated with the doc office since after calling concerned about spotting every day last week, his answer a week later was "Oh they should have told you to double your injections to prevent miscarriage". Unfortunately we were not told that, and low and behold the inevitable happened. What makes the situation more tough is being on the other side of the world from Tyler. I would rather have been apart the day of our wedding than today of all days. Now big decisions....surgery? adopt? try again? switch docs? So much to consider....my body, our finances, lost trust in Dr. G......Please pray for my precious husband who's voice was trembling through the night, since he had to call in the night from IRAQ to get the results, and wishing he could be here to provide for me and support us. He is an amazing man of God who was thrilled to be a future dad..one day! My heart not only breaks for what could have been a baby Johnson, but for my precious Ty. I am more than thankful for our sovereign God and faith, I could not imagine IVF without a passionate intimacy Tyler and I have together with our Lord!
Monday, May 18, 2009
MAY 18th, 2009
Good evening! First off I want to thank you all for your sweet emails, comments and prayers, you have made the journey full of strength. Today at the doc they took more blood for another test to see what is really going on. While I was there I brought my other injections for a "real" nurse to administer since I was there anyway. I have been really hopeful until this evening, I had some cramping in my tummy and a tiny bit of spotting again. I am sure it could be nothing, but with the biggest news of our life riding on this, and another 24 hours until I get the results it is nerve racking. Thank you in advance for your love support and prayers. Hopefully tomorrow will be the best of our lives! We remember imagining our wedding day and night, our first move, our first day of work, our first house as the biggest days of our lives, once we embarked on IVF the excitement of those days has been ore than shadowed by the excitement of LIFE!!! How exciting! The stinky part...the news will be announced via cell phone while I am chaperoning a middle school dance...awkward!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
May 17th, 2009
Today was a much better day than last Sunday! Last Sunday at church kids were trying to give me Mother's day trinkets and I got teary eyed worried about the spotting and afraid I might never be a mother. So worship today was much more bright, knowing there is a glimmer of hope. Above are the pics from today. I took the pregnancy test this morning, notice that i bought digital, so the result is more straight forward no the "kind of there" line. We are by no means in the clear, but we are still hopeful the test turns up correct. But with the meds and IVF a HPT is very rarely reliable, however lets me breathe a sigh of relief each morning so worth a few bucks. The other image is the progesterone oil injections I am going to try and give myself again. Yesterday went so great, that i would like to try every once in a while to do ti myself, because i know my pain threshold and body better than anyone. Notice the band aid is a full size one, so the oil solution and needle are HUGE! Yikes! We are looking forward to the appointment tomorrow, to see biologically what is going on. We do not know if he wants at ultrasound, blood work, injections or what..but tomorrow afternoon hopefully we will have a better idea of the possible future of Baby Johnson!Saturday, May 16, 2009
May 16th, 2009
Today I couldn't sleep and woke up to take a pregnancy test at 5:00 am. Mediocre news...there were 2 lines, but the second one almost required a magnifying glass...not great, not bad. The Internet says that means you are pregnant, but you HCG is super low, which I new all along. The day went great, mid afternoon a tiny bit of spotting. I called Dr. G's cell again, and he said if that was all, to just take my injection early and increase the dose. Francine was in town, so he said he would walk me through it. I would have died for someone to see e i n the mirror pulling on my butt cheek turned around backward to fin the marks were we normally go. It is all black and blue, so i figured just to aim in the bruise. It took a good 2 minutes to get the oil in, to dense to push fast, one drop of blood, band aided and good to go. He said he will see me Monday to sort everything out and see what is going on! Prayers for the weekend are appreciated and never taken for granted! Love ya!
Friday, May 15, 2009
May 15th,2009
Howdy y'all! Today was another ride on the Johnson Journey. The doc office was scheduled to call between 3:30 and 4:30 today. However, Tyler was already calling in the middle of the night dying to know, so I called them at 4:00. The RNP said that with IVF only the doc will call with results. Therefore, I took it upon myself to call his personal cell phone as a friendly reminder. He called back quickly. The news as wonderful, dreadful and full of anxiety. The conversation went something like this...
Dr. G: When were you supposed to test Nikki?
Nikki: Friday, but I was positive it was negative so I scheduled for a day earlier.
Dr. G: I wish you wouldn't have done that. For the test to be positive it must be greater than 25, yours was 30. However at this point it should be over 100. So maybe the extra day would have helped, or maybe we just need to test again to make certain. So congrats you are pregnant! Wait, you haven't been spotting at all.
Nikki: Yes, Dr. G(arggggg is my voice) I talked to the RNP and several nurses this week about it.
Dr. G: Well it could be implantation, but I wish I personally had known that(as if I didn't know the clinic didn't communicate to each other)therefore I would have increased your injections. Starting now, double it! I hope you are pregnant, I hope this works, lets see you promptly Monday to retest and check everything out again.
.......
Wow..I went from congrats, to oh no, to we screwed up, to fear, to hope again in like 15 seconds. We both wish wished for either a straight positive o negative, much easier to deal with than one more ? on top of all the others. So the waiting game starts all over and we are hopeful for another positive Monday afternoon as well.....but if not we are prepared and faithful. Thank you for all the positive encouragement, we have great people in our lives!
More than ever we need prayers and hope!
Dr. G: When were you supposed to test Nikki?
Nikki: Friday, but I was positive it was negative so I scheduled for a day earlier.
Dr. G: I wish you wouldn't have done that. For the test to be positive it must be greater than 25, yours was 30. However at this point it should be over 100. So maybe the extra day would have helped, or maybe we just need to test again to make certain. So congrats you are pregnant! Wait, you haven't been spotting at all.
Nikki: Yes, Dr. G(arggggg is my voice) I talked to the RNP and several nurses this week about it.
Dr. G: Well it could be implantation, but I wish I personally had known that(as if I didn't know the clinic didn't communicate to each other)therefore I would have increased your injections. Starting now, double it! I hope you are pregnant, I hope this works, lets see you promptly Monday to retest and check everything out again.
.......
Wow..I went from congrats, to oh no, to we screwed up, to fear, to hope again in like 15 seconds. We both wish wished for either a straight positive o negative, much easier to deal with than one more ? on top of all the others. So the waiting game starts all over and we are hopeful for another positive Monday afternoon as well.....but if not we are prepared and faithful. Thank you for all the positive encouragement, we have great people in our lives!
More than ever we need prayers and hope!
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